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Our top ten Christmas crackers to make you groan

 

If you can’t do cheesy gags at Christmas, when can you?

Here’s our list of unashamedly bad (yet sometimes gloriously good) Christmas jokes. We’re sorry. We just couldn’t elf it.

 

Why didn’t the coconuts go to the Christmas ballet?

Because they were scared of the nutcracker.

 

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

 

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

 

Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?

Because he has private elf care.

 

How do you know if Santa’s been in your garden shed?

You’ve got three extra hoes.

 

How do you know Santa’s real?

He’s from the grotto.

 

What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?

You are so last season.

 

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

 

What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

“Get out of my face.”

 

Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity?

Because the Star is in the Yeast.

 

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Surviving the Christmas holidays Rebel Kitchen style

 

In such close proximity, it’s a given – family can grate.

Don’t despair. We’ve pulled together our top tips on how to survive the festive season so you can emerge the other side with your sanity (and relationships) still intact.

 

Do your fair share of the chores (or let other people help you)

 

If you’re usually the control freak of the kitchen, step down. If you’re usually lying horizontal on the settee whilst others slave away, step up.

Make sure everyone gets involved in the Christmas prep and finds a way to contribute ‘their bit’ to the day. Even if that task is topping up Nan’s sherry. Repeatedly (someone’s got to do it).

 

Don’t saturate yourself with too much food and booze

 

It’s tempting (very tempting) to drown out Aunty D’s squawking laughter with another tipple. But you’re doing yourself no favours if you insist on spending the entire Christmas holidays in a food and booze-induced coma.

So eat, drink and be merry – but recognise the benefits of mindfulness and moderation. Take a walk. Get some fresh air. Move that body. Which leads us onto…

 

Get out the house for a bit

 

Your little cousin’s been bellowing the same two lines from Frozen’s Let It Go. In your face. All morning. Naturally, your enthusiasm’s beginning to wane.

Before it reaches fever pitch, find some time to get out the house and take a walk – all of you, together. Whether it’s 20 minutes or two hours, some fresh air and a change of scene will do wonders for everyone’s mood. Trust us on this one.

 

Do things on your terms

 

Christmas is about compromise and unfortunately we can’t (always) have it our way. That said the holidays are there for a reason – to give everyone a chance to switch off.

Make sure you fit in some personal respite amongst the family activities and mayhem. If that’s blocking out your surroundings (and family) for three hours so you can read your favourite book, do it. Make sure other people give you the chance to do it too.

 

 

Accept your family will probably annoy you – and that’s okay

 

The fact is, irritations will arise. From all sides. But guess what? That doesn’t make you a bad person. Rest assured that what’s happening in your household is happening in every other household around the country. It’s Christmas. Embrace it.

 

 

Have a great one.

Love & Coconuts,

Team Rebel.

 

 

 

 

 

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Gingerbread Christmas Cookies with a Chai Cashew Icing

There’s a bit of prep involved in making these Gingerbread Christmas Cookies. Still, as they say, the best things come to those who wait. And these are definitely worth the wait. You can have some fun creating an entire Gingerbread family, too.

Thanks Sarah (Insta @sarahmalcs) for this delicious Christmassy creation. 

Recipe:

– 2 heaped cups spelt flour

– 1/2 tsp baking powder

– 1 tsp ground cinnamon

– 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

– 1 tsp ground ginger

– 3/4 cup dates

– 2/3 cup melted coconut oil or Rebel Kitchen Chai Mylk

– 4 tbsp maple syrup 

– 1 tsp vanilla extract

– 1 chia egg *

– pinch of salt

 

* Combine 1 tbsp chia seeds with 2 tbsp water. Allow to soak for 10 minutes.

 

For the icing:

– 1/2 cup soaked cashews (soaked for minimum of 4 hours)

– pinch of salt

– 3 tbsp melted cacao butter (can use coconut oil)

– 1 tbsp maple syrup

– 3 tbsp Rebel Kitchen Chai Mylk

 

(FYI: good idea to make the icing the day before and keep it in the fridge. It needs at least 3 hours to set)

Simply blitz together all of the ingredients in a high speed blender, food processor or nutribullet and leave to chill in the fridge.

 

Method:

  1. In a food processor, combine dates, spices and flour and blitz.
  2. Add oil, maple syrup, vanilla and chia seed egg and blend again until well combined.
  3. Remove the dough and flatten it out between two sheets of grease-proof paper. The dough should be about 3mm thick.
  4. Pop in the fridge for an hour to allow all of the ingredients to set. (Freezer for 15 minutes if low on time)
  5. Pre-heat oven to 150C.
  6. Cut the dough into shapes and place on a lined baking tray.
  7. Place in the oven and cook for 18-20 minutes or until golden.
  8. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.

 

 

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Our top tips on how to get your kids more excited about food

 

This month we’ve teamed up with the folks at Sweetpea Pantry to share our top tips on how to get your kids excited about food and cooking in the kitchen more. Fun, freedom and creativity sit at the heart of it. And of course, there’s full reign for the grown-ups to get involved too.

 

Get them involved

 Allocate age specific jobs to kids like stirring, whisking, measuring and setting the timer. Nothing beats the pride and satisfaction they feel when they know they’ve made something themselves.

If it’s too much to start from scratch, get a little help using healthy mixes and give kids’ control over breakfast (e.g Sweetpea Pantry Grainy Pancakes to get you started)

 

Make it pretty

At home, focus on making it colourful (e.g. a simple food rainbow) and allow your creative side to take hold with shapes and props; all of this makes food more appealing to kids and connects them to what they’re eating.

 

Whip out the props

Get the kids aprons, colourful cutters, spoons and accessories, and make them feel part of a creative, fun process. Don a chefs hat and have your very own kids bake-off!

 

Relax about the mess

Making a bit of mess is half the fun, so resist the urge to put too many rules and restrictions in place. Kids will love the freedom, and they’ll feel proud of their involvement and achievements at the end.

 

Let them make choices 

Ask kids for their input. Which vegetables do they fancy on their plate? What shape do they want their sandwiches? Which flavour Rebel Kitchen mylk in their lunchbox today? The freedom to choose brings excitement and a sense of ownership (a ‘grown-up’ feel) to what they’re eating.

 

Sweetpea Pantry helps you get the goodness in with healthy mixes for easy family meals and snacks. Using wholegrain flours, no refined sugars and nutritious ingredients like chia, quinoa, flax and oats, the mixes for pizza dough, pancakes, flapjacks and biscuits are quick, delicious and loved by all the family. The team is offering Rebel Kitchen fans 20% off all their products, which you can redeem with the code ‘Rebel20’ when you go to checkout.